All My Life
by Princess Peyton
Summary: A story about the events that unfold after Ozai passes away 6 years after the war has ended. Mainly Zuko-centered
1. The News

**Hello! I'm planning on making this quite a few chapters long, but I don't have a concrete plan. Im just sortof rolling with fic. So please review and if you like it, follow the story! I'll hopefully update a couple times a week.**

* * *

Ten years had passed.

Exactly ten years from this day, Zuko was banished from the same nation that he now ruled over. Exactly 10 years ago, his father left him on the palace floor with a portion of his face burnt off. The past didn't bother him as much anymore; he had stopped keeping track of these types of anniversaries a long time ago. But as he sat there on the edge of his bed that morning, his mind replayed everything that had happened to him since he was thirteen years old. He could no longer ignore the irony of the situation.

The irony was that the roles had reversed. It was that he was in charge of an entire country. It was that he found himself in the same position he had desperately yearned for at thirteen years old. It was that the man that kept him from his goals no longer held any power over him. It was that the man that pushed him down for years no longer walked this earth.

The irony was that exactly ten years after Zuko's banishment, his father's body lay cold and lifeless on a prison floor.

* * *

That afternoon, he sat down at the table with a handful of people. The news of his father's death would bring mixed reactions from the citizens of the Fire Nation. Arrangements needed to be made. Iroh sat in the chair closest to Zuko, while the head of his cultural administration walked into the room. A woman sat at the end of the table, keeping track of the Fire Lord's schedule.

"Fire Lord Zuko," his cultural advisor briefly greeted as he gave him a courteous bow, then sat down at the table. He continued. "We're not certain of the reason for your… Your father's death. We believe that the likely cause is poison. I'm sorry to say that it will be difficult to find the person accountable, if that's the case."

"I'm not concerned with finding a culprit right now. I would just like to focus on whatever arrangements need to be made," Zuko softly replied with a poker face. It was true. He knew that there were many people who wanted Ozai dead. He never expected or even necessarily _wanted_ for this to happen, yet the news didn't surprise him.

"If I may, I would suggest that we give a public announcement of former Fire Lord Ozai's death as soon as possible. It is up to you what should be done with the body, but traditionally he would be buried in the dragonbone catacombs."

Zuko sighed. He was unsure how _exactly_ he should feel right now, so he just focused on the task at hand. "Then that's what we'll do. Please, make arrangements for a burial as soon as possible." Zuko shot a glance at his uncle, who hadn't said anything but appeared to be deep in thought.

"My Lord, excuse my interruption," the woman at the end of table softly called to Zuko then looked down at her papers. "My schedule here tells me that the Avatar and his friends are scheduled to arrive at the palace this evening as well..."

 _Monkey feathers._ He had forgotten that they were coming. He thought about sending a messenger hawk until he realized that they were likely on Appa's back right now, making their merry way towards the Fire Nation. They wouldn't get the message. They would be coming either way.

Zuko missed them. It had been almost a year since seeing his old friends. But _now_ was probably not the best time. It was his obligation to show respect for his deceased father, even if that same man caused him misery for most of his life. Now _,_ a goofy bald kid and his misfit group of friends were going to fall from the sky and plop right into his palace. _Great,_ he thought.

He took a deep breath and turned to the woman. He wore a fake smile. "Thank you for reminding me." He told her, then called out to the room. "Everyone is dismissed."

Then, it was just him and Iroh in the room.

"Uncle, have you seen Azula or my mother yet today? Do they know about…?"

"I have not had the chance to talk to them today, but I'm sure they've been told about Ozai's death."

Zuko winced the slightest bit at the words coming out of his uncle's mouth. Sure, he had woken up to the news this morning, but hearing it from his uncle somehow made it feel _real._

"Do you think they're, uh…" He started. _Okay?_

"I'm sure your mother will be fine. She moved on from her life with your father long ago," He finished for him. "However, your sister may be a bit more… Complicated, I would imagine."

It seemed like an understatement. While Zuko was now on good terms with his sister, it had been anything but easy to get there. It had taken close to five years after the war for Azula to seem like she had at least _some_ sense of sanity left inside of her. Even then, it wasn't much. It was only a small spark. But it was enough for their mother to _beg_ Zuko to let her leave the mental institute. Azula had already escaped numerous times, and Ursa convinced her son that it would be better for Azula to live with family. Zuko reluctantly agreed with his mother. On the condition that she was closely monitored and immediately chi-blocked if any problems were to arise, of course.

And problems definitely did arise, not to Zuko's surprise. Over the months, however, they came less and less often. At first he thought it was an act; she seemed _just_ like the Azula he grew up with-deceptive, intimidating, and always getting the upper hand while making it look _so_ easy.

But as time went by, he realized. She _wasn't_ the same. Sure, she was still bratty, annoying, and absolutely terrifying. That never changed. But she somehow seemed _warmer._ Sometimes, she even used her cunningness and sense of strategy to _help_ people. It was weird. It was also nice.

And nobody knew how she was going to react to the fact that her father was murdered, which was petrifying.

"And what what about you, my nephew?" Iroh's voice brought him back to the present.

"Huh?"

"How are you feeling, Fire Lord Zuko?"

There was a short pause. At twenty-three years, Zuko was well past the angst that devoured him during his teenage years. Back then he probably would have yelled out _'I'm fine!'_ and stomped away.

Instead he just gave a shrug and told Iroh honestly, "I don't know. I just want to get everything over with."


	2. The Aftermath

**Okay ya'll! This took me whole week between work and other things. Be patient with me! Also please review! I love reading what people think.**

* * *

As Zuko walked through the courtyard from his meeting, he caught a glimpse of a figure with long, dark hair kneeling by the pond. Over the course of six years, Azula had grown to have an uncanny resemblance to their mother; sometimes it took Zuko a couple of seconds to discern who it was.

"Mother," He greeted as he approached the pond.

Ursa flinched and turned around to face her son. Her eyes were bloodshot and glazed, holding back tears. "Zuko," she replied while quickly wiping her eyes.

His eyes widened. He knew his mother loved her children very much, but it was a known fact that she had never loved their father. He wondered: She couldn't possibly be _mourning_ , could she?

The answer came right away. "She's gone," she told him. "I-I tried talking to her, and she… She said she was leaving. Nobody else was around, and I couldn't stop her. Zuko… I… I don't know if Azula is going to come back." Tears were now rolling down her cheeks.

Her stared straight into her flooded eyes. He tried to come up with anything to say; anything to comfort her, anything to make the tears stop falling from her eyes, but he came up short. He didn't know what to say, what to do, or what to _feel._

"She'll have to come back eventually, Mom. She always does." If he didn't say it for her comfort, he said it for his own. He hated the idea of Azula wandering the Fire Nation alone as much as anybody else, for _many_ various reasons.

Her puffy eyes looked up at him. "I should have been a better mother, Zuko. I left you both, and she spent most of her life thinking that I _hated_ her..."

He kneeled down by her side. "No. You did everything you could for us, and you had no choice when you left... It's not your fault…" He failed to come up with the rest of the words to say. _It's not your fault you were forced into such a messed up family_ , he wanted to tell her. Instead, he stood up again. "She'll be okay, Mom. I've seen her the over the past years- she's not the same fourteen-year-old girl I knew during the war. She's better and even _stronger_ now, and it's because of you. She'll be okay. She has to be."

Ursa stood up after her son and immediately embraced him, then slowly pulled away. "I'm sorry, Zuko. How are you handling everything?"

"I'm doing fine, Mother," He immediately assured her. Then he reluctantly told added, "...Father's going to be buried in the Dragonbone Catacombs tomorrow, if you'd like to come… Uncle and I will there."

She looked at him and gave a nod, her eyes finally becoming dryer. "I'll be there."

* * *

It was dusk when Aang, Katara, Sokka, and Toph finally landed on the palace grounds.

"Welcome, Team Avatar," a servant humbly bowed to them as they climbed off of Appa. Zuko quickly walked outside to greet his friends.

Careful to keep up a good appearance for the Fire Lord, Aang and Katara gave a swift bow at the sight of him walking towards them. Toph was still dozed off from their trip inside of Appa's saddle.

Sokka, on the other hand, didn't care for appearances. "Hey, Zuko! Long time no see, buddy!" he yelled as he ran up to him and embraced him in a strong hug. "How have things been?"

"It's nice to see you guys," he said in a monotone voice when Sokka finally let him go. He waved at the guards to leave the yard.

"Well, don't sound _too_ excited to see us, Sparky." Toph said as she drowsily made her way off of Appa.

"Sorry, I really am glad to see you. It's just been a long day."

"What happened? In your letters, you said it would be a _great_ time to visit the Fire Nation. You said everything was running smoothly," Aang said concerningly. Sometimes that boy seemed _too_ eager to help out and fulfill his Avatar duties, Zuko thought.

"Yes, I did. Well, my father was assassinated today."

"I'm… sorry… for… your loss?" Sokka said in way that sounded like he was unsure if he should be offering his condolences or breaking into a happy dance. Katara flicked him in the ear.

Zuko shot him a dirty look. "It's not exactly like that, Sokka," he explained. "Things are just going to be a little hectic. You know, _politics_. Some people are going to be upset." His mind wandered to his sister, who was now most likely far from home.

"Do you want us to stay and help? ...Should we… leave?" Aang asked.

Zuko rolled his eyes. "The war is over. You're welcome in the Fire Nation any time, Aang." He told him. Then, he remembered how his friend had a habit of getting himself into sticky situations. "...Just don't go running into any trouble inside the palace," he added.

Aang gave him another short bow. "You've got it, Sifu Hotman."

Zuko sighed. "I'll have the servants arrange rooms for you all. Dinner will be served soon." He walked back inside.

During dinner, they all reminisced of old times and caught up with each other on the new.

"...And so, Suki _finally_ let me practice with her fans" Sokka went on, in the middle of a story about his stay on Kyoshi Island "...But she was still mad at me for the last time, so she made me dress up in her uniform again while doing it. It _totally_ reminded me of the last time we were all on the island together. You know, back when Zuko was an angry jerk who wanted to burn down the whole village. Good times!" he exclaimed

Everyone giggled, except Zuko.

"Oh, lighten up," Katara told him. "The past is in the past. You know we love you."

He gave her a faint smile smile as he finished eating his food. He had been reliving the past all day- Katara's teasing words were only meant to discreetly offer him a little comfort.

"Well, _I'm_ living in the future. A few of my students came up with this new metalbending technique and…"

His mind started to wander as Toph starting going on about her metalbending academy. He replayed the conversation with his mother, unable to get her tear-covered face out of his mind. He thought of his sister and wondered where in the world she could be now. Finally, he thought about his father. _Why_ would anyone decide to kill a man who was already rotting away in a prison cell? If somebody wanted revenge, Why not just let him suffer? _Why_ did he have to die?

"...So, I think you guys are going to see _a lot_ more metalbenders in the-" Toph was interrupted by Zuko suddenly standing up.

"...I'll be right back. I need to… step outside for a moment." He walked out of the room in a flash.

He found himself in the courtyard again, next to one of the firepits. He swiftly lit the wood inside on fire and sat down and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, trying to force all the thoughts from his mind.

 _Just breathe_ , he thought to himself.

"Are you okay?" Katara's voice came from out if the blue, her eyes fixed on his silhouette through the fire. Zuko opened his eyes. Her face radiated the same warmth and caring that he felt from his own mother, and her tone sounded just like his uncle's when he had asked him the same question earlier that day. It was concerned, yet careful to not overstep a certain line.

Then he saw Sokka, Aang, and Toph from a short distance making their way to them. Zuko said nothing as he focused his gaze into the fire. He'd been thinking about that same question all day. _How should he feel?_

It was as if he was a child, and whatever his feelings were, it wouldn't matter anyways.

"Zuko?" Sokka asked when he didn't answer.

"I feel like I'm ten years old again," He stated without thinking.

"Huh?"

Then he explained.

"I'm frustrated and terrified because I know that I'm still an embarrassment to him. I always made him angry. He made me think I was a horrible son."

Nobody said anything, so he went on.

"Every bruise, every mark, every scar that I got from him was always somehow my own fault. He was the Fire Lord, and the Fire Lord is _never_ wrong. Which meant I should have been a better son and I should have been more like him, but I couldn't. I didn't have it in me."

"Zuko, you know that's not-"

"I'm not an _idiot_ ," he cut Katara off. "Of course, _now_ I know it's a huge load of ostrich-horse shit. I was a child and he was a grown man. He was cruel, and I'm happy he's dead." He threw his arms up for added emphasis, just to show them all how _thrilled_ he was. The fire grew larger as his hands flew above his head.

He put his arms back down when he realized the flames were growing, and his face dimmed with the fire. "But sometimes I just... get this _voice_ in the back of my head that tells me he was always right. That I'm doing my job all wrong. And sometimes I'm worried that I can't even control my own nation. And sometimes, just _sometimes_ , I wish I could be more like him."

"If you were more like your dad, we'd all be dead." Toph said bluntly.

"She's not wrong. We're all better off- the whole _world_ is better off." Aang offered.

Somehow, it seemed to set him off more.

"I hate him. I hate him for all of the war that he spread and for the condition he left the Fire Nation in. I hate him for the condition he left the _world_ in." the fire started to slowly grow again.

"...But mostly, I hate him for tearing our family apart. I hate him for using my cousin's death as an _opportunity_ and stealing my uncle's place on the throne. I hate him for banishing my mother and calling _her_ the treacherous one. I hate him for raising Azula into the _perfect_ little monster after he realized I was too weak for the position. I hate him for everything he is, everything he stood for, and now… He's _finally_ gone."

"So it's… A good thing then?" Sokka asked. "Are you happy, Zuko? I know he's your father, but it's _totally_ okay to be happy he's dead. I know I am."

"It _should_ be a good thing. I _should_ be happy. But I'm not." _Why?_ He wanted to scream.

"Because he's your father. He's still a big part of you. Obviously." Toph immediately responded to his unspoken question. She couldn't truly relate to Zuko; but she understood. She had never gotten along with her own father, and her heart still broke the day he refused to acknowledge his own daughter.

She was the youngest of the group. At only 18 years old, Zuko thought she was practically still a child herself. Still, she made complete sense, and he couldn't help but admire her straightforward wisdom. "I guess you're right. Thank you, Toph." Zuko said.

"Don't mention it, your lordliness," she replied while casually picking her nose with her pinky finger.

Zuko took a deep breath as he tried to bring himself back to reality. _Now is not the time to grieve_ , he thought, and suddenly he felt ashamed for spilling all of his feelings in front of his friends. So he swallowed his emotions and changed the subject.

"Azula went missing today, too." he told everyone as he stared into the fire again.

"Well, thats kind of scary. But there's probably no point in worrying about _that._ If she doesn't want to be found, she's not going to be found," Sokka told him bitterly. "Besides, you never know, maybe she's outgrown her homicidal phase!"

Zuko shot a glare at him, then then turned back to the fire. " _You never know_..." he muttered to himself.


	3. The Runaway

Azula stood inside the dark hallway, patiently waiting for the darkest hours of night to come. Nobody would think to find her here, because nobody even knew the hallway existed. It was just another one of many secret passages in the palace that she discovered as a child. Ironically, it was her father who showed her this one in particular, which is how she knew she'd be safe. The only other person who knew how to get inside was _dead._

She realized that it was the first time in yearsthat she was completely alone. There were no eyes watching her for her next move, no guards standing outside the door, and nobody was prepared to chi-block her in a moments notice. It almost felt liberating.

Everybody thought that she was long gone by now. Nobody would be looking for her inside of the palace, which was exactly why she waited until now to make her escape. She knew that she wouldn't have been able to leave during the day; there were too many eyes. Master firebender or not, it would only have been a matter of time until herds of guards would come to meet her and strip her of her bending, rendering her powerless.

So she waited until _just_ the right time. Then, she lifted up the hood of her cloak as she pushed open the door that led back into the palace halls. They were completely empty. Not a soul was to be found. _Perfect._

She swiftly crept through her old home, making calculated turns through the seemingly endless hallways. She had taken notice before of which areas of the palace were constantly being patrolled, and which areas were often left unsupervised. Because of this, she could easily avoid the guards that were making their nightly rounds.

So, she was surprised when she turned the corner and ran straight into another person. Shocked eyes looked into hers. Clearly, he hadn't expected to run into her either.

"...Azula?" Aang asked confusedly. He rubbed his eyes and looked at her again. Momo sat on his shoulders, letting out a low rumble towards the princess.

"It's pretty late, you know," Azula told him softly through a fake yawn. "You should really get to sleep."

"Momo's been chattering all night. I decided to go out for a walk with him..." He explained, then realized _she_ was the one that needed to be doing the explaining. "...What are you doing here? I thought you went missing."

"Well I'm back, then."

Aang squinted at her, examining her hooded robe and the small bag she carried on her shoulders. "You never left, did you?" He asked. "Or, at least, not yet. You were waiting until now."

Azula gave him a menacing frown. "Look, kid. I know you're a pacifist, so I'll give you two choices. You can hush up _right now_ and let me go my merry way," she warned. " _Or,_ I can shoot you up with lightning again and make a run for it."

Aang threw his arms in front of him in a protective stance as he carefully surveyed Azula, preparing for her to strike at any moment. Azula just stood there calmly, awaiting his response.

"You really shouldn't leave. You have a family here. You've built up a decent life here... But I won't fight you." He finally answered, relaxing his arms.

"Smart boy," Azula said as she quietly darted past him. She was stopped in her tracks when Aang grabbed her wrist. She glared at him.

"I'll let you go without drawing any attention," he said. "But first, tell me: _Why_ are you leaving? If you're upset, I get that. But you have nothing to gain from running away. There's something you're not telling anyone."

Azula's jaw clenched as she faced Aang, who still had a tight grip on her wrist. "You idiot!" she snapped, her voice becoming louder now. "I have nothing to gain from _staying_. Now... Let. Me. Go."

Aang stared into her mad eyes. He found himself wondering how somebody could show such an array of emotions all at once; but there Azula was, staring back at him with anger, sadness, and confusion painted all over her face.

It made him feel guilty about the fact that they were now suddenly surrounded by a dozen of guards that came to investigate the yelling. "Sorry," he replied as he finally let go of her wrist. The guards instantly grabbed her and tightly secured her arms behind her back.

She shot back flames from under her feet, backflipping over the guards and darted through the hallway and turned at the nearest corner. The guards quickly followed her around the corner, but she was already gone.

Left alone to himself again, Aang looked up at Momo perched on his shoulder and sighed. "Do you think this is what Zuko meant when he said to not go running into any trouble?" he asked the lemur, then turned around to go back to bed.


	4. Family

Aang woke up to loud pounding on his door.

"Uuh?" he answered drowsily.

He was still half naked, but the door swung open and Zuko came barging in anyways. Instead of his normal Fire Lord attire, he wore a simple white robe with gold trim.

" _So_ , the guards tell me that you had an interesting night," he said.

Aang sat up from his bed and looked at Zuko with tired eyes. "...Huh? Oh… Yeah, I…" He trailed off as he noticed Zuko standing over him with his eyebrows furrowed in anger. Then he realized the most likely reason _why_ he had suddenly barged into his room and looked upset. "Oh! I remember now. I was taking Momo for a walk, then I ran into your sister."

"And you _let her get away?"_

"Well, I mean, I tried to stop her, but-"

Zuko cut him off. "So you're telling me that the mighty Avatar, master of all four elements, the one that defeated my father during a _comet_ and ended the hundred year war couldn't keep my little sister from leaving the palace? I know she's an amazing bender, Aang, but did you really even _try?"_

Aang jumped out of bed and threw on his shirt before responding to Zuko. "Okay, fine. Maybe I didn't try all that hard and maybe I let her leave. You know me, I'm not going to start a fight. And besides, you're the one that told me not to get into any trouble in the palace!" he responded.

"You should have stopped her!"

"Why? She seemed… different, Zuko. I really don't think she's going to go out and start terrorizing people and getting into trouble. I wouldn't have let her go if I thought otherwise. You _know_ that."

"You- idiot! That's not the point!" Zuko snapped, his hands becoming fists.

"Then what _is_ the point?"

He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn't sure what the point was, or why he was yelling at Aang at this moment. He should have been on his way to his father's funeral, but he couldn't accept the fact that Azula wouldn't be there.

"The point is that this is supposed to be her _home_... She can't just leave!" Zuko finally said, defeated by the fact that _maybe_ he was worried about Azula.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't stop her. But if you're right, She'll come back soon. Again, I'm sorry, Zuko," Aang said, realizing Zuko's hurt feelings over the matter.

He sighed. "Me too. I shouldn't have come in here just to yell at you."

Aang smiled at seeing his friend in a less angry mood. "Hey, no problem! I'm sure times are tough… Anyways, what's with the weird outfit?" he asked, eager to change the subject.

Zuko looked down at his clothes, realizing that the bright white robe must look strange compared to his normal dark red one. "Oh, it's uh… Traditional Fire Nation mourning clothes. Y'know, for when a Fire Lord dies... Which reminds me, I should probably go now." Zuko said and quickly walked out of his room.

After the door shut, Momo jumped onto his lap and let out a purr.

"Yeah, you're right, Momo. This whole thing _is_ pretty awkward."

* * *

Zuko, Iroh, and Ursa stood together, alone in the Dragonbone catacombs. There was a small group that had attended the ceremony, most of them noblemen/women and high ranking officials who were acquainted with Ozai during the war. Now, the ceremony was over, his body was buried, and the small family was left to themselves.

They stood like that in complete silence for what seemed like forever. In the corner of his eye, Zuko saw a single tear rolling down his uncle's cheek. It was then that he realized Iroh wasn't mourning for his former Fire Lord. He was mourning for his brother.

They all stood in front of the grave for a moment longer. Zuko wondered what it might be like- to attend his younger sibling's funeral. He imagined that if he was in his uncle's shoes, he'd probably be mad as hell.

It was then that Zuko broke the silence. "Were you ever angry at your father, Uncle?"

"Angry how, Nephew?"

Zuko hesitated, trying to form his thoughts into words. "Did you ever… blame him for what your brother became?"

Iroh turned to him. "If I'm being truthful, I always got along with your grandfather much better than your father ever did. Growing up as the crowned prince seemed to make him favor me. Looking back now, maybe I'd blame him for not giving Ozai the attention he deserved."

Iroh paused and turned back to his brother's grave. "...But I don't think I could ever fully put the blame on my father, or anyone else for that matter. People are constantly changing and going through struggles. In the end, our conflicts don't define who we become. How we respond defines us. Your father chose his own actions."

Zuko glanced at his mother, then back. "If you could go back in time, would you do anything different?"

"Oh, plenty of things," Iroh chuckled to himself.

"With my father, I mean."

"I suppose I'd try to be a better brother and point him in a better direction. Sometimes, people live all their life in hostility and it's all they know. Sometimes, they can be helped. I doubt it would have changed anything, though. I don't think Ozai was one of those people," Iroh said with a darker tone to his voice.

Zuko looked down at the ground. He felt his eyes start to water, but he refused to let any tears come out of his eyes. "Yeah. I don't think he was one of those people either, Uncle," he said softly. _But I know somebody who might be,_ he thought to himself.

Zuko turned to both Ursa and Iroh. "Mom, Uncle," he said to them, realizing he was alone with the two people who were willing to give up almost everything to help him. "Thank you for always being there for me when I needed you. I need to leave. Hopefully I'll be back soon."

* * *

 **Now the story is picking up! Please review guys. Whether its negative or positive, I wanna hear it! I should have the next chapter up early next week.**


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